Penny Lane

I've been indulging in some nostalgia this afternoon. It's a very quiet, lazy day; at my mother's command, I cleaned my room, and unearthed many old notebooks and papers which I enjoyed perusing. My friends used to annoy me with how crazy they could be, particularly when I wanted to be serious, but old photos and letters have prompted only good memories.

I also discovered some pages of quotes I collected from overheard conversations, as well as from classes and everything. A few from chemistry last year:

Miss Marshall: "Gas particles have elastic collisions."
Michelle: "So you could say, when one gas particle gets up in the other one's grill..."
Miss Marshall: "I don't speak ghetto; I speak chemistry."

Miss Marshall: "I just always remember the molar mass of NaCl."
Aashesh: "Why? Do you like salt?"

And some from English:

Andrew: "I have the horrible fear of enclosed tube slides! Like I think terrorists are going to close off both ends and I'll be stuck inside!"
Joslin: "I'm sure that's, like, number three on their list. World Trade Center, anthrax, and then trapping Andrew Perez in a tube slide."

Andrew (while reading from Pygmalion): "Oh, I just thought of something!"
Aashesh: "No, you didn't! Go!"

I was looking at old West M.S. yearbooks last night, and that combined with this afternoon's "adventures" has made me somewhat gloomy and wistful. It was kind of unnerving to see happy, hopeful pictures of people I've seen fall by the wayside in just five years. It makes me both apprehensive and interested about future class reunions.

I Feel Fine

This hasn't been an especially good week, but I feel strangely peaceful lately. Aside from the initial gloom over the cancellation of the Winnebago tourney, I enjoyed the chance to work on my word paper and summer program application. I've been feeling fine at school, too, though yesterday morning began with my frantic rushing around trying to finish up my work, and today hit a low point with the news that the layout for the newspaper has to be completely redone. At least I didn't have to struggle home on the bus after that; I went to the showing of "Mujeres al Borde de un Ataque de Nervios" for Spanish Honor Society, and then enjoyed a snowball fight with the frosh-soph QB team.

The Confirmation retreat on Saturday went well, too, though it was nothing special, not like last year's. I met Chris McMeen, another volunteer leader, whose mom recently died after a long battle with cancer. His testimony about how his faith has helped him and his family through this rough time inspired me.

Last night's Nic-9 went well (we won 'em all), though Patrick and Ryan tormented me for much of the time. A chance comment by Patrick (who always makes fun of my Catholicism) made the East coach bug me for the rest of the round, which I was fine with, but then Ms. Greene caught on (shudder). She also brought up the whole Donald thing from Sterling, which Will started when Donald of Decatur MacArthur was ranting to me about some question he got wrong or something (Will claimed he was hitting on me). Then, when we played Belvidere, their coach had little anecdotes about EVERY SINGLE QUESTION. It annoyed Patrick to no end; I didn't mind until it started getting late and I just wanted to end the round and go home.

I'm starting to slip back into the lethargy of the usual routine, after a temporary grace period following the holidays and finals. I'm back to counting the hours until good things like QB practice and weekends.

Helter Skelter

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel like I've been really annoying lately with everyone. People probably want to kill me. Yesterday at QB practice, I was just off the walls, arguing about every little thing, talking incessantly, making rude comments, getting mad when other people buzzed in before me...Will and Emily both commented on it, which was embarrassing. Also, today I got into Emily's locker and left my ID in there, which Sonya thought was funny, but Ellen and Emily A. both looked at me rather scornfully, and I realized it was pretty immature. I just hate when I get excited or overly happy, and then all of a sudden I realize I'm talking way too loudly, or some such thing.

I don't know...I was just really glad for the weekend to be here. Except we have Winnebago tomorrow, another day with everyone. Minus Emily and plus John (the worst situation ever). Patrick, Ryan, and Will are always off together now, or else Patrick and Ryan are off together and Will's in a corner sleeping. I may get stuck with Ross tomorrow, because Adam's not going to be there. Unless I can conveniently stick him with John (they can discuss chess or something) and then wander about alone. Yes, that sounds nice.

Ms. Floming gave me her recommendation today, including an extra copy that I assume was for my personal reading pleasure. I was surprised when she described me as someone who enjoys learning for learning's sake. I guess I do read a lot outside of class, including books Mrs. Longhenry talks about, but I sometimes fear I'm getting too much like the grade-focused kids who surround me. The Flomester's essay inspires me to work harder for my own pleasure, though, not just to get As.

Between a discussion in Spanish class today on SSR and my own lunchtime conversation with Sonya, I think I'm growing to hate the American system of education. John Holt, a popular educational theorist, says that learning should be integrated into everyday life, not set aside in special buildings designated for learning. I completely understand what he's saying, and I have renewed my vow to homeschool any children I have.

I'm So Tired

When we were first assigned the dreaded word paper, I didn't think it would be so bad. Then I promptly forgot about it, aside from choosing a word and a novel and asking everyone else what theirs were. Now we actually have a due date (sources check this Monday) and I'm understanding why it drives people crazy. There's just so much work that goes into it. I did get my dad to take me to the library tonight, so I'm doing better now. At least not panicking anymore.

Going to the library did mean missing Steve Boettcher's wake, but I don't know if I'd have gone, anyway. I didn't go to Kari's, either. Something about when a person dies...suddenly he/she is not even a person anymore, but an icon, idealized and constantly referred to in the context of death. I'm glad I didn't have to face Laurie and Mrs. Boettcher, though. That will come eventually, but I hate those receiving lines at wakes where you find yourself face to face with the relatives of the deceased. At least at school or church I can avoid direct contact with them.

This has nothing to do with anything, but lately I've noticed several similarities between James, my friend from camp, and Will, a classmate and fellow Quiz Bowler. Both are tall and dark and fairly quiet. Both sit leaned back with one leg across the other. Both say interesting things all the time. Both seem fearless. Both laugh loudly, with their heads thrown back. Both intimidate me and make me feel awkward. (I'm constantly doing stupid things around Will; today I accidentally knocked a pen across the table in bio and, during QB practice, spilled Sprite all over myself and Emily.) Both intimidate me. You know what's a weird word when you say it often enough? Both.

Aside from general homework and the word paper, I've been frazzled this week because of newspaper stuff. We're going to miss our deadline tomorrow. We had the paper pretty much put together, and then today several well-meant but badly timed events occurred: Andrew, Liam, and Brandon turned in long articles, far too late; Mr. Harnish viewed the draft of the paper and made several changes; and Hayley lengthened the paper to sixteen instead of twelve pages, which means more work filling up the whole thing and getting it done. Mr. Fischer called the printer and postponed our deadline, which just makes me feel worse. Oh, well. In the wise words of Scarlett O'Hara, "Tomorrow is another day."

What Goes On

I can already see that titling all my posts with names of Beatles songs will quickly become difficult. It was a nice idea, though. Maybe I'll throw in a couple of literary references every so often.

I finally talked to James the other night. About a month ago, he told me he had a girlfriend, then proceeded to ignore me. I was pretty much about to give up on him, but then he randomly started talking to me online. I think he just wanted to brag about how well he did in quiz bowl, though. I've noticed that I have a lot of "friends" like that, who talk to me and are fun to be around in certain situations, but ignore me in others. Will, for example, and Patrick. Maybe, being guys, the thought doesn't occur to them to be friendly unless it suits them. I don't know what's worse: having them blow hot and cold, or just not being friends with them at all.

I recently found a stack of old Auburn newspapers in my sister's closet (how they got there, I shall never know). The overall quality is just awful, but there are a few articles that are pretty good, and sometimes amusing. I enjoyed reading my own article entitled "Goths, Punks, Etc. Not Individuals," which at the time infuriated a bunch of people. This one kid sent me an angry letter saying that "50% of the Goths in America are trapped in jobs they hate," or some such random statistic. Which, of course, is ridiculous; no one checks a little box saying "Goth" when applying for a job.

The other article of my own that amused me is "Freshmen Deserve Appreciation." At the time, being a freshman myself, I completely believed everything I said. Now, of course, I understand that hating freshmen is just a way of life at high school. No one really beats them up or anything. I did laugh at this sentence: "Threats such as 'Freshman Beat-Up Day' circulate the school, frightening those poor innocents out of their as yet uncorrupted minds." I wonder what was going on in my head at that particular point. (Hence the title of today's post.)

A Day in the Life

I don't know if Quiz Bowl was ever that fun or if there really is something different about it this year. Being on the varsity A team probably makes the biggest difference. On the B team we got away with everything...we could enjoy doing well without any pressure, and not mind much when we lost. This year, though, every time: "Well, now our record's 42 and 4...that's still a pretty good seeding for Sectionals..."

I can never decide whether I'm an optimist or a pessimist. As for seeing the proverbial glass half empty or half full, everyone has been talking about how nice it feels to have a semester of junior year done with, but all I can think is that we have a full semester left to go. Plus, now that finals are over, it's going to be back to the ol' routine, without even the usual respite of Casmir Pulaski day to break up the drudgery. Now I actually have to start working on my word paper.

I don't really know how this blogging thing works...I just decided to give myself a place to rant. I hope I'm doing it right. Maybe there is no "right" way, though. I'll have to see how it goes.