Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Man, there's nothing like listening to old CDs to ruin one's childhood. Today, my dad found an old Peter, Paul, and Mary CD I used to listen to all the time when I was seven or eight. My grandma's a big fan of Peter, Paul, and Mary, and she used to play their tapes as I fell asleep when I stayed the night at her house. I was listening to the CD, and it came to a song I remember really liking, "Home is Where the Heart Is." Well, now I realize that, all along, the song was about gay couples, and one of them dying of AIDS. Talk about losing one's innocence! I blurted out, "So that's what this song's really about!" My dad laughed at me all evening.

At least my fears about innocent songs from my childhood like "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Puff the Magic Dragon" really being drug references have been alleviated. An Internet website (okay, I know, not that reliable, but it contained quotes from Peter, Paul, and Mary themselves) confirmed that the whole "Puff the Magic Dragon" myth is a hoax, and a book of Beatles lyrics that I have has a quote from Paul McCartney, saying that they never realized the apparent reference to LSD until after the song came out, when people started mentioning it to them. Really, according to Paul (and Annie in I Am Sam), it's about a picture Julian Lennon drew of his friend Lucy Connor. I was momentarily worried when Stephanie told me about the LSD thing freshman year, when we studied Lucy (that skeleton) in world history. Not that drugs weren't a big part of what the sixties were about, but it's not nice to have once-innocent moments exposed as having rather sinister underlying messages. As I discovered today.

Act Naturally

The Spanish competencia went well, I suppose, though I accidentally skipped an entire line of the second poem I had to recite. I ended up getting an honorable mention, nothing new for me. I should write a book and call it Honorable Mention. I actually have a few titles planned for books I'm going to write someday. No idea about the content, just the titles: Fluourescent Cheerio (apparently an astronomical term; we had a quiz bowl question about it once); Thirty Pieces of Silver (reference to the price Judas was paid for the betrayal of Christ, a concept I'd like to deal with); and Penguin of Consciousness (the Flomester gets credit for this one; she depicted Freud's psyche as an iceberg, with the unconscious underwater and the tip of the iceberg as the conscious mind, complete with cartoon penguin).

Last night my mom and I worked concessions at the Auburn-Boylan basketball game. My sister was playing in the band, and my dad came to hang out, though he's not a big fan of basketball, so the whole family was there. It was Senior (K)Night, so at halftime of the sophomore game, they introduced all the "senior scholars," senior participants in winter sports who maintain a certain GPA or something like that. I guess I should say "sports," in quotes, because Will was honored for quiz bowl. It was kind of funny, but nice. Next year, of course, a whole group of us will be there: Tyler, Ross, Ryan, Patrick, Adam, and me, assuming we meet the requirements (I highly doubt that will be a problem). Will and his parents worked concessions, too, along with Ryan's parents, Ross' mom, Phil's dad, Matt's mom, Tyler, and Tori Langley's mom (Tori's not in quiz bowl; I think she was with Booster Club). They're all nice people, although it got pretty crowded and crazy in that little area, especially during breaks, when there would be an onslaught of people buying food. Some girl asked us if there were any vending machines. I hope I was polite, but my face may have given away my thoughts: "Um, hello? What's in a vending machine that we're not selling?" Phil's dad is pretty funny; he kept commenting on how salty the popcorn was, and offering tastes to everyone. The band was pretty good; they played some pop/rock hits from the last few years, like "Stacy's Mom" and "All the Small Things," which was different but nice.

Tonight should have been my Josh Groban concert, and then it should have been the winter dance, and then it should have been a night out with friends, but the concert was postponed, and dance plans kind of disintegrated, and I haven't heard from Ellen or April or anyone, so it looks like a lonely night for me...maybe I'll watch Gone With the Wind.

Nowhere Man

I've been noticing these rubber bracelets (or wristbands, for the macho) more and more lately. At first there were just the yellow "Live Strong" Lance Armstrong ones--and those are still the most popular--but now I see purple, blue, red, green, and pink ones. Apparently there are camouflage ones for "Support Your Troops"; I saw some online, though I haven't actually seen anyone wearing one. I guess I should jump on the bandwagon. I don't really like to grab on to crazes, but it is a good cause, not some meaningless fad like, I don't know, leg warmers or digital watches.

I'm glad I made All-Conference and played well at the Nic-9 finals, but I wish I'd been feeling better. I was basically popping pills and blowing my raw, red nose nonstop, which didn't do much to ingratiate me with cute Hononegah boys... I wish I'd been able to enjoy the whole ordeal, instead of feeling sick and embarrassed. At least my mom convinced me (it didn't take much) sto skip school today. I was feeling much better today, so I kind of felt guilty for being home, but it was nice to have a day of rest. If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time I've actually stayed home sick. I've gone home sick, but never taken off an entire day. It's quite nice.

Just wondering: why do Asian kids have a monopoly on intelligence? Usually it's an issue of parents forcing them to excel, but that's not the full answer; non-Asian parents in general don't do that, so it's still an Asian thing. Aashesh has been sighing over B pluses for as long as I've known him, and Emmanuel had to quit quiz bowl last year because of his grades. Asians make up a large percentage of ACE campers and quiz bowlers in general. I wonder if anyone's ever done a study on this.

Baby's In Black

Today should have been a terrible day, what with my lingering cold, the end of a pretty sweet three-day weekend, and the news that Rory Zuba died this morning. It wasn't so bad, though. Acing three of my four tests from last Friday helped; I actually earned a Tootsie Roll Pop (the fare of A students in AP world history). More than that, though, it was just a good day as far as talking to my friends and having good times.

Not that the news about Rory wasn't shattering. Even though he's been very sick for a long time, I wasn't prepared for this. I'd heard he was getting better, actually, though the latest news via Mrs. Coates was that he was doing badly again. I guess it's better that he's out of his pain and with his mom and sister, who died a while ago. I need to send a card or something to his brother Sean, my buddy from Midway Village a few years ago, through whom I met Rory in the first place. I feel so horrible for him and his dad. I don't know if Sean (or his cousin Connor, who also attended camp) remember me at all, but I guess it would be nice to express condolences.

I saw from a posting on the ACE camp site that Jimmy Li and Michael Braun both appeared on Teen Jeopardy, and Michael Braun was the champion. It's crazy...I actually know kids who were on Jeopardy! I'm sad I missed the shows, though. I can just imagine those kids, especially Jimmy Li. He was known at camp this past year for constantly buzzing in early and rolling his eyes back into his head while thinking of an answer. It paid off for him, though; he placed in the lit category. Michael's the famous Quizmaster, of course.

Tomorrow's our Nic-9 finals. I'm looking forward to hanging out with Will, Patrick, and all the guys, as usual, but it'll be pretty late when we get home. At least this one's at Boylan, so we won't have to hang around and clean up like we did last week for the frosh-soph tourney.

Dig a Pony

This may sound petty, but it figures, doesn't it, that my sister would get a bad cold and miss two days of school with it, and then pass it on to me just in time for a three-day weekend? It hasn't been so bad, though; I've been doped up on some Walgreens-brand acetaminophen stuff. I felt horrible when I woke up yesterday and briefly thought I might have to cancel Jessica's party, but after a few minutes I was okay.

Speaking of which, Jessica's party went well, I thought, although for a while it seemed kind of awkwardly quiet. After most people had left, Sonya and Ellen and I sat around talking for almost three hours, which was nice. Ellen says she likes my blog, which naturally made my day. We watched the Grammys, which my dad had taped last week. I'm not really a fan of most of that music, except for U2, Green Day, and Maroon 5, but it was interesting nonetheless. Jessica's mom called my mom later and said that Jessica had a great time, so that was nice.

I talked to James for a bit on Saturday. Somehow we always end up talking about the weather, which seems so boring. He's been online quite a lot lately; maybe he's between girlfriends.

I Want to Tell You

TOP FIVE NAMES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER) THAT I WILL NEVER BELEAGUER MY HYPOTHETICAL CHILDREN WITH

1. Darryl. Sounds like a skinny, tobacco-chewing, trailer-dwelling hillbilly. You can't even say it without a drawl.
2. Kaitlin (and other spellings of the same). Too common, plus there are about ten million spellings of this name. Also, too little girl-ish; you can't imagine anyone over forty with the name Kaitlin. At least, I can't.
3. Anything ending in "elle." Especially Arielle. Not to discredit my cousin's girlfriend's family (Raquelle, Michelle, Nicole, Danielle, Chanelle, and Lorielle), but it's a little too prissy and, like Kaitlin, little girl-ish.
4. Chad. It's so hard and flat. If you say it enough times, it doesn't even sound like a name anymore. Plus, too much association with both the African country and the 2000 election fiasco. Funny story, though: according to Bandy, a girl at quiz bowl camp tried hitting on Chad by saying, "What's your name?...Chad! That's my favorite country!"
5. Durward. That name is actually in the so-called Best Baby Name Book in the Whole Wide World. I hope no one in the last few centuries has actually named a child Durward. I think that qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT AUBURN (IN SPITE OF MYSELF)

1. Overhearing greasy guys in army fatigues talking excitedly about video games in the hallway.

2. Ross' wolf shirts. Where does he get those things?

3. The continuing saga of J.P.'s hair.

This very likely shall become an ongoing feature.

Other than my lists today, I saw and spoke to Phil for the first time since the events of last Friday. Everything was normal, and it was okay, except for when I saw his mom, there to pick him up, who said "Hi, how are you?" in a really excited way. Maybe she's just that way...I hope Phil didn't tell his family that I asked him to the dance. That would be embarrassing.

I'm currently listening to the School of Rock soundtrack. I think my favorite song is Stevie Nicks' "Edge of Seventeen," although the Ramones' "Bonzo Goes to Bitburg" is an old favorite. I've grown up listening to "Bonzo Goes to Bitburg."

The Word

Well, Valentine's Day was as predictable as ever. Flowers (sold by YWLO) were delivered to my second hour (AP bio) without causing much of a ripple in our taking notes on bacteriophages. April and Ellen both gave me valentines (April's was homemade and very pretty; Ellen's was one of those storebought kind we passed around in grade school, this one Shrek-themed and addressed to "C-Machine"). There were a lot of balloons, flowers, teddy bears, and so on floating around the hallways. Mrs. Longhenry read us a New York Times article about the origins of Valentine's Day and how love and marriage have evolved over time, which was interesting, though I knew about most of it.

I was prepared to wallow in self-pity, but a few incidents at Key Club, as well as some links on James' AIM profile, cheered me up. At Key Club, we passed around the Happy Barrel, when we all toss loose change into a mug and say why we're happy (assuming we are). So the barrel got to the Longhenrys. Mrs. L. said, "I'm happy because I got a flower from my soulmate," and then beamed up at Mr. L. They're so cute! It was very sweet, despite the immediate collective "Awww," which usually ruins moods.

James has apparently become acquainted with Maddox, a website full of misogynistic, cynical rantings that, while often obscene, can be very funny and sometimes truthful. I'd heard about it before, from Will and some of the QB guys, and visited it. James has started putting links on his AIM profile, and today had a few Valentine's Day-themed ones. I had to laugh out loud at the following: "I don't hate Valentine's day just because I don't have a date (but it doesn't help). Possibly the worst thing about Valentine's day are those damned cupids. I see them everywhere. Little bastards. They annoy the hell out of me. Sometimes I can't sleep at night because stay up thinking about how much I hate Cupids. Then I realize that it's not cupids that I hate so much, but really mimes. This leads me to the question: if a mime fell in a forest, would it make a sound? If I ever see a mime in a forest, I'm going to trip it to find out." How can you not laugh at that?

I had hoped to have a pity party with Emily on the night of the winter dance, but now it looks as if she'll be doing something with Tyler (who, by the way, wore a shirt today that read, "Everybody loves an Asian boy," randomly). Maybe I'll have to get off the couch, turn off Harold and Maude, and actually go to this dance.

I Should Have Known Better

Freshmen take things way too seriously. The winter dance is coming up on the 26th, so Emily Anderson, Sonya, Ellen and I decided to go, and ask freshmen just as a joke. So I asked Phil, from quiz bowl. He refused to make a decision for two days, left a nervous message on my family's answering machine, and made me chase him all over the school, only for him to tell me, "I don't feel like I know you well enough to go to the dance with you...I just don't want you to be upset." Once again, any attempts on my part to attend Auburn dances and/or enjoy innocent friendships with boys end up in embarrassment for me.

Emily's having her own problems with the dance, complicated, I admit, by me. I told Tyler he should ask her to the dance, so he did, and TOLD HER that I had mentioned it to him. They apparently had a fight--as much of one as those two could--and now Emily really doesn't want to go to the dance. I'm not especially feeling up to enduring several hours in a hot, dark, sweaty, rap-infested high school gym, either. We might have our own pity party that night...maybe rent Harold and Maude or something equally cheerily depressing.

I wonder if trying to go out with guys will ever get any easier. Judging from books and movies, probably not.

Run For Your Life

Donald: Oh, I didn't know you were trying out [for Team Illinois]. Well, it's good practice for you.
Colleen: Grrr....

Other than The Donald's comments and the interminable ride to Bloomington, the tryout wasn't so bad. I enjoyed seeing and chatting with some quiz bowl buddies, like Devin Patel and Alex Inman. I just refused to take myself (or anyone else) seriously, and laughed at everything (as when Donald got mad and threw his pencil across the room, and then was forced to go retrieve it under the withering stare of Mr. Riley). Tyler, naturally, made the team, as did Donald and Jordan Silver (of Lincolnshire Stevenson). If nothing else, I got a chance to face some of the people we'll (hopefully) be seeing at state. Fremd and Stevenson are in the same sectional, so that's a load off our minds. Those two have been our biggest competition since the start of the season--since the Ultima, really. I expect to see Decatur MacArthur at some point as well; I'm looking forward to that because of my friends (Jeff, Alexandra, and Jared), but now there's the hope of beating that greasy little captain of theirs. Nothing makes me play well like rivalry with the other team, and Donald's comment definitely got my ire up.

Today was the WYSE competition; it was a nice day off from school. I took English and biology tests, and ended up getting second place in our division for English. I was very pleased, but it would have been better if Kelly Rockwell had gotten first. She did not place, and then I felt kind of awkward. It had been kind of assumed that she would win; Mr. Holstein said something to that effect in class yesterday. But I did have fun hanging out with April, playing cards with Aashesh and Lindsay, talking to Brad Fischer (who tied with Patrick Shanley of Byron for both of his medals, which made me laugh; Brad hates Byron), and laughing at the amusing sentences on the English test ("I enjoyed watching Spiderman 2, but I hated choking on my popcorn" and "The well-known actress named her baby after a piece of fruit").

Today's Ash Wednesday, so I've been trying to think of something to give up for Lent. I think I'll give up "angry" music (like Green Day), and try to pray more and be generally nicer to people.

With a Little Help From My Friends

I love getting long, happy e-mails from buddies. Noelle just sent me one, and it made me smile many times. I also like (by the way) waking up to good songs on the radio. Today a Cher song, the title of which I am not sure, was on as I was getting out of bed, and it kind of got me going.

Today was just a good day overall (we got first at Streator, and I did well personally). Yesterday was nice, too; I had lunch with Sonya, Ellen, April, Gloria, and Candace at the Olive Garden. I had never been there before, but the breadsticks and ravioli were very delicious. Last night I went to Ross' birthday party, and got to hang out with people I usually don't see at school, like Steph and Laura. Somehow we got started playing Bop-It while most everyone else was playing poker or watching Ocean's 11. That game is horribly addictive, and gets me embarrassingly hyper (well, that and the Diet Cokes).

The only dampener on the past few days' contentment has been the absence of Decatur MacArthur from Streator because of the death of a team member's mother. I e-mailed Jeff to express my condolences and find out who it was, but haven't heard back from him. I'll see Donald tomorrow at the Team Illinois tryout, so I'll see if he says anything. I don't know what I could say or do, but since I do know those kids, I'd like to be able to send an e-mail or something. Weird as it sounds, I've kind of had to interact with people who have recently lost loved ones a lot lately, like Chris (Chico) from church, and Laurie at school.

Speaking of the Team Illinois thing, I'm not at all expecting to make the team, although I'll give it my best shot. But I do want to prove myself against people like Donald and Alex Inman, and I think I'll be able to do at least that.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I have been putting off thinking about the Team Illinois tryout this Sunday, but I just received some last-minute info and happened to see the list of people that will be there...including Donald Taylor (yes, that Donald), Alex Inman (a fellow lit person from ACE camp, who goes to Fremd), and Jordan Silver (a creepy--and creepily good--player from Stevenson). I'm doubtful about my ability to make the team, but I at least want to seem respectable. I'm going to do some major studying on Friday. And I'm not going to let the guys get to me on Saturday (we're playing MacArthur first thing). I'm looking forward to that, mostly because of the chance to see Jared, Alexandra, and Jeff, not Donald.

Randomly, I'm going through a Tom Petty phase (I'm currently listening to "Mary Jane's Last Dance," which is, by the way, a very good song). I'm also liking John Lennon (solo) and Joni Mitchell lately.