Helter Skelter

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel like I've been really annoying lately with everyone. People probably want to kill me. Yesterday at QB practice, I was just off the walls, arguing about every little thing, talking incessantly, making rude comments, getting mad when other people buzzed in before me...Will and Emily both commented on it, which was embarrassing. Also, today I got into Emily's locker and left my ID in there, which Sonya thought was funny, but Ellen and Emily A. both looked at me rather scornfully, and I realized it was pretty immature. I just hate when I get excited or overly happy, and then all of a sudden I realize I'm talking way too loudly, or some such thing.

I don't know...I was just really glad for the weekend to be here. Except we have Winnebago tomorrow, another day with everyone. Minus Emily and plus John (the worst situation ever). Patrick, Ryan, and Will are always off together now, or else Patrick and Ryan are off together and Will's in a corner sleeping. I may get stuck with Ross tomorrow, because Adam's not going to be there. Unless I can conveniently stick him with John (they can discuss chess or something) and then wander about alone. Yes, that sounds nice.

Ms. Floming gave me her recommendation today, including an extra copy that I assume was for my personal reading pleasure. I was surprised when she described me as someone who enjoys learning for learning's sake. I guess I do read a lot outside of class, including books Mrs. Longhenry talks about, but I sometimes fear I'm getting too much like the grade-focused kids who surround me. The Flomester's essay inspires me to work harder for my own pleasure, though, not just to get As.

Between a discussion in Spanish class today on SSR and my own lunchtime conversation with Sonya, I think I'm growing to hate the American system of education. John Holt, a popular educational theorist, says that learning should be integrated into everyday life, not set aside in special buildings designated for learning. I completely understand what he's saying, and I have renewed my vow to homeschool any children I have.