Think for Yourself

The other night, I went to the Youth Charity Jam. It's a concert put on by In Youth We Trust (a group Sonya's part of) to raise money for some community thing and to give local teen bands exposure. The music was okay; some of it was good, and I did miss the last three bands, so maybe there were some better ones. The best part of the entertainment was when Mike Hahn joined a band from Auburn onstage to sing and play the kazoo. Mike Hahn is the brunt of many a joke at Auburn, from his indignation at the Germanic tribes being called "barbarians" in freshman world history class to a legendary incident in which his watch went off in class, so he threw it out the window--and then tried to go out after it. He's just a funny kid.

More than watching and/or listening to the show, though, I enjoyed hanging out and seeing various friends. Sonya, April, and Ellen were there, and I hung out with them for most of the night; I also saw, from Auburn, Adam Morand, Laura Burns (and boyfriend), Amy, and Rick (for a short while, we sat in the back of Amy's banana-yellow truck), as well as Thomas Harris, Joslin, Jenny, and James Phelan. There were a few faces from the past there, too: Grant Anderson, from elementary school, played in one of the bands; Hannah Gough, also from elementary school, was one of the announcers; Jonathan Widergren, an old friend with whom I once put on a play called "Harriet Tubman and Andrew Jackson" (made no sense and involved a lot of tomatoes, I seem to recall), appeared; and Pier Debes, a sort of enemy from middle school, was walking around in a checkered fedora.

Most significantly, I saw the Stallings. When my sister and I attended Montessori, a progressive preschool, Valerie Stallings was the lunch lady, and her kids, Samantha and twins Michael and Caitlin (who are my age), went to school there. The families were friends; I remember them coming to our house. The school later closed and was torn down (it's now a barren field in the middle of town), and we used to see the Stallings occasionally, but I hadn't seen them for years. While sitting around at the Youth Charity Jam, I noticed a kid walking around that looked oddly familiar, but I couldn't place him. Then I saw a girl who also looked very familiar, but again, I couldn't place her. (I made no connection between the two at the time). Then I saw Samantha, and I remembered Emmanuel telling me that Samantha had been involved with the Charity Jam (his band, Prometheus, tried out but didn't make it into the concert). Suddenly, I made the connection, realizing that the other two kids were Michael and Caitlin. With Sonya, who knows the Stallings from In Youth We Trust, I got up the courage to approach Michael. I said, "Hi. You probably don't remember me, but we went to preschool--" He pointed at my face and cried, "Maureen!" "No, Colleen..." After a few slightly awkward moments of conversation, he walked away. Later, Caitlin came over and said hi. I never spoke to either of them again, though both waved to me when they happened to pass by. All right, so this whole incident is probably boring anyone reading this out of her skull, but I was excited (not least, I must admit, because Michael Stallings is not hard to look at).

Yesterday my family visited Marquette University in Milwaukee. It seems really nice; small enough for a sense of closeness and minimal walking between buildings, but large enough to be pretty diverse. Plus, it's Catholic, and I think I'd enjoy being around people who share and understand my faith. It would certainly be a change from Auburn. The main drawback--and it's pretty big--is that Marquette doesn't have film studies, the major I had decided I wanted. It does have a good journalism program, though, and I could still get into being a film critic or a columnist that way. It's just a different door. This summer, I'm going to visit Washington University in St. Louis (probably on the way to quiz bowl camp) and maybe some others that do have film studies, so I'll make the comparison. By the end of the summer, hopefully, I'll have something planned.

It just seems like every time I have a plan for my future, I somehow get thrown for a loop. Like planning to major in film studies, but turning out to really like a school that doesn't have that. Today at lunch, I was explaining some point when my mom said, pretty much out of the blue, "You should think about being a lawyer." I have never even given a thought to law. She claims that I like to argue, which is definitely true, but most of my arguments end with me getting in my opponent's face and yelling things like, "Uh-uh!" and "Shut up!" and "You're stupid!" Law just seems boring. Arguing isn't necessarily a huge part of it. I guess part of what made my mom think of it is that I was talking about a kid at my church that I'm predicting to be a wife-beater. He brags constantly about himself, especially about how he can beat up people, and demands perfection, plus he seems to have a low regard for women in general. He goes out with a girl at church named Anna. Other than her affinity for this kid, she's really smart and nice. Anyway, my mom said I should defend women who murder their abusive husbands. Oh, nice. Really sounds like something I'm interested in.

I'm finally done with my word paper! I think. Tonight I'm meeting with Aashesh, Ross, and maybe some others so we can proofread each other's papers. They'll probably find a few errors, but I think I've done okay. Other than that, this paper is done. Of course, now I worry about how I'll do grade-wise, but at least for a week or so, I can relax. Until Mrs. Longhenry starts handing papers back. I'm actually pretty happy with the paper overall. After a lot of floundering around, unsure about my philosopher and my poem, I found ones that really work well with my paper, and I was able to use them nicely. I also found some good literary criticism and ended up using my novel in, I think, a good way. My intro's nice, and my conclusion makes me smile, even if it's not exactly structurally perfect. I worried that it wasn't much like the sample papers, but then I remembered what Mrs. L. said about this paper defining who you are, and I decided that even if it's not like what Du'aa Elnoory or Lindsey Claeyssen did, it works for me. I'm not Du'aa or Lindsey, so my paper shouldn't be like theirs.

I keep pestering my dad to take me to get my driver's license. I don't particularly like driving, but I'm tired of having my parents tote me everywhere, and sick of my friends having licenses when I don't. I'll be seventeen on May 18; I had better have my license by then.